I Shall Survive Using Potions! Volume 1 Page 19

  “Good one, Roland! I’ll send out someone to search for a noble who isn’t important in the slightest!”

  “R-Right...”

  You should really watch how you put that, Serge, even if you are the king... Roland thought to himself, a wry smile tugging at his lips.

  “...So that’s why you called for me?”

  “That’s right. You were the only one who came to mind when we thought about aristocrats who weren’t important in the slightest.”

  “Oh...”

  Oh? Isn’t that Minister Dorn? Now that is a rare sight to see. He usually doesn’t show much enthusiasm for his work, and was always involving himself with aristocrats and other large merchants. But here he is now, fervently offering prayers to the Goddess.

  Archbishop Saulnier nodded to himself contentedly. He’d just happened to stop by the chapel, which was where he found Dorn diligently embracing the duties of a clergyman.

  ...But taking a closer look, something seemed off about Dorn. It wasn’t like he was praying out of piety, but more like he was terrified of something... The fact that his eyes were completely bloodshot as well only made it obvious something wasn’t right here.

  “Is something the matter, Minister Dorn?”

  As soon as Dorn was aware of the archbishop’s presence, he clung to Saulnier’s knees. “A-Archbishop! I-I’ve done something terrible!”

  As he confessed to what had happened with the Goddess’s messenger, the archbishop turned pale from shock.

  “W-We must go to see her at once! Call Bishop Perrier as fast as you can!”

  It was around that time Bishop Sarrazin was wondering why Dorn was taking so long to get back, but assumed it was because the girl was taking her time getting ready to come to the temple, and so didn’t concern himself too much about it...

  “I’m looking for the messenger of the Goddess!” a loud voice called from the entrance to the Maillart Workshop.

  Kaoru wasn’t exactly a store clerk, and she’d never called herself a messenger or angel of the Goddess or anything, so she ignored the voice as she continued preparing to make food for everyone in the kitchen. Achille wasn’t paying attention to the voice either, since his father made sure to be clear for him to ignore any sort of contact besides the messages his father would relay to him from the castle.

  Bardot, the head of the workshop, ended up having to greet their guest.

  “Well, would you look at that! To what do I owe the pleasure of a temple bishop visiting our workshop, sir?”

  “Good day! Is the angel here?”

  “Angel...?” Bardot didn’t have the slightest idea what the man was talking about.

  “I mean the angel sent by the Goddess of course!”

  “Well, uh...why would anyone like that be here...?”

  The two were definitely not on the same page...

  Bishop Perrier, the messenger Archbishop Saulnier had sent, finally recalled that he was to find someone called “Kaoru,” which he promptly announced to Bardot.

  “Huh? Well, if it’s Kaoru you want, she’s in the back...but what’s with all this ‘angel’ business?”

  Right around the time Achille was getting up to intervene before things got worse...

  “Achille! Are you here?”

  ...Viscount Lyodart had just arrived in his carriage, fresh from the royal palace.

  “Miss Kaoru will be coming to the Lyodart household to meet with His Majesty.”

  “I should think not. The messenger of the Goddess will go to the temple to meet with the archbishop.”

  “Are you saying you would keep His Majesty waiting?!”

  “Who do you think is the one who always says religion and politics should have nothing to do with each other!”

  “Hmgh...”

  “Mmrgh...”

  The tension in the air was palpable. Neither of them could back down now. If they did, it would compromise their chances of bringing Kaoru back with them.

  “Geez, you guys are noisy...” Kaoru finally, albeit reluctantly, showed her face.

  “Oh, Miss Kaoru!”

  “Lady Angel!”

  “There’s no problem if I just go ahead and meet them both, right? But I don’t want to hear anything about doing this in either one of your home bases, or in a place where there aren’t any people around. I’m scared to think about what would happen, so those options are definitely out. I want to meet in a place where plenty of people who don’t have anything to do with this can see, and aren’t under the control or influence of either of anyone involved. If you can promise to do exactly as I say on top of that, I would be fine meeting with both of them.”

  The central plaza of Grua, the royal capital of Balmore, was in a spot near the main gate of the royal castle. The Grand Temple was facing just opposite of it, where a statue of the Goddess could be seen by the entrance. Though it was usually a place full of tourists and bustling stalls as people strolled by, a hush had fallen over the plaza. It wasn’t because there wasn’t anyone around; in fact, there were enough people gathered here now to rival the turnouts for festivals and other grand events held only a few times throughout the year. There were even aristocrats there, accompanied by their own personal guards and attendants.

  As of now, though, everyone was standing completely still, and a dead silence had fallen over the plaza. In the center of everyone gathered there was a stage, one that could be easily seen by all and was only a few meters high. There were tables and chairs set up on the stage, pushed together to form the shape of a triangle. It was set up just like it was going to be a debate between three separate groups.

  After a short period of time had passed, about a dozen priests appeared from inside the Grand Temple. As they approached the stage, three of them broke off from the group to take their seats in the chairs provided while the others waited nearby. After another short wait, an extravagant carriage emerged from the royal palace, surrounded by an escort of guards. As it arrived in front of the stage, its passengers disembarked. Just like the priests from the temple, the three passengers took their seats on the stage while everyone else was on standby not too far away.

  There were three people from the temple in attendance: Archbishop Saulnier, Bishop Perrier, and Shaela, a divine oracle. Though she was an oracle, Shaela was quite old, considering she was in her upper sixties. Likewise, there were three people from the royal palace as well: the king, Serge, his brother Roland, and the prime minister, Corneau.

  Two points of the triangle had gathered, so all that was left was for someone to fill that last corner—and that last person was someone who would even keep the king waiting.

  The air was thick with tension.

  “Ah, sorry I’m late, guys!”

  But that tension was all for naught as a young commoner girl called out from the crowd of people.

  Kaoru had requested the following in order to meet with everyone: First, she would speak with the people from the royal palace and the temple all at the same time. Second, they would do so in a place that wasn’t under the control or influence of either party. And third, they would speak in front of a large group of people.

  Kaoru’s specified venue of choice to satisfy those conditions was here in the central plaza, where they would hold a Q and A session that was open to the public. There were three people each in attendance from the royal palace and the temple, with Kaoru as the only one representing herself.

  “Without further ado, let’s get started with this hearing.”

  At Kaoru’s signal, the discussion began.

  “First and foremost, I’d like to ask everyone why they wanted to meet with a simple commoner like myself.”

  “Y-You’re the messenger of the Goddess, so of course we would invite you to the royal palace...” Prime minister Corneau answered, puzzled over why she would ask something where the answer seemed to be so obvious.

  “But that doesn’t really have anything to do with me, right? Even if I did go to the palace, there’s nothin
g for us to talk about, and I don’t have any business there.”

  “Wh...” Prime Minister Corneau was at a loss for words.

  “E-Erm... Did the Goddess have any revelations or blessings to give us?” King Serge asked in Corneau’s stead.

  “Hm? No, not really.”

  “...”

  The king stared back in blank amazement, both hands on the table.

  Next up was Roland, taking over for his brother to ask a question.

  “But from what we’ve heard, there were some citizens here in the capital who were saved after receiving the blessings of the Goddess...”

  “Oh, right. That was only to help those who had good hearts and were suffering for no apparent reason. Even if the royal family or any other aristocrat were doing everything they could to fairly govern over the country or their other territories, that’s just part of their job, so it doesn’t really make them ‘good-hearted’ or anything. Any soldier or guard injured in battle only ended up like that because they were fulfilling their duty, so it doesn’t really make their suffering irrational, or that it happened for no reason. Neither case would call for the Goddess to step in and intervene. That’s why there isn’t any point in me meeting with royalty or aristocrats. I can’t enter the castle either, since I swore to the Goddess I wouldn’t after I was told I had to pay with my body if I wanted to go inside.”

  The bomb Kaoru dropped sent shock waves rippling through the crowd.

  “They told the angel to pay with her body?!” “Blasphemy! What are the nobles thinking?!”

  Even Roland couldn’t hide his nervousness as the people voiced their outrage.

  “I mean, Celes doesn’t even care all that much about what happens to people unless she really takes an interest in them. Unless there was a huge amount of people who were going to be killed off, a goddess like her normally wouldn’t go out of her way to intervene in anyone’s lives.”

  Roland fell into silence once he heard those words. Everyone present was also completely ignoring the fact that Kaoru was casually calling the almighty and revered Goddess by a cutesy nickname.

  On the other hand, the participants from the temple were overjoyed to hear Kaoru say she wouldn’t go to the palace.

  “Then please, come to our humble temple!” the archbishop insisted. “As we are so close to the Goddess herself, there is no place more suitable for a messenger of the Goddess to spend their sojourn here!”

  “No, I don’t really have any business with the temple either.”

  A blank look of shock covered Archbishop Saulnier’s face.

  “E-Even though you may be from another country with a slightly different denomination, we all worship Celestine, do we not?! As a messenger of the Goddess, please, join us in helping the people!” Perrier desperately pleaded.

  “Huh? I’m not really a follower of Celestine or anything, you know?”

  “““WHAAAAAAAAATTT?!”””

  Shouts of disbelief erupted from the plaza following the nuke Kaoru had just dropped.

  “I come from a country that believes the blessings from the forest, rivers, and ocean come from the gods, and that their divine wills exist in everything. Celestine is just one of those many gods who happens to be nice enough to take on a human form to offer advice directly to the people.”

  “Th-Then what is your relationship with the Goddess...?”

  “We’re just friends, that’s all.”

  Saulnier and Perrier let their jaws drop in unison out of disbelief over what they just heard. Shaela, on the other hand, seemed only mildly surprised by the sudden revelation.

  “Oh yeah, and everyone keeps calling me an ‘angel’ or a ‘messenger’ or whatever, but I’m not really working for Celes or anything. We’re equals, and two good friends at that.”

  At this point, everyone on the stage looked like the life had been sucked right out of them.

  “Even if you try and force me to do something, Celes isn’t going to allow anything like that to happen. Hell hath no fury like an angered Goddess, and it may not stop at who started it,” Kaoru warned, facing the aristocrats and other clergymen who weren’t on stage. “It could end up including their families, their followers, the faction they belong to, the royal capital, all other territories in Balmore, or even all the temples across the entire country. Celes isn’t very detail oriented, if you catch my drift.”

  The color instantly drained from all their faces when they heard that.

  “If you come to me and demand that I do something for you, I can guarantee whatever you tried to ask of me is never going to happen. The gods should be respected, but you shouldn’t rely on them for everything. While it’s all fine and dandy to show your faith and devotion to them, you shouldn’t expect them to help you, and you should never demand anything of them.”

  Everyone on the stage except for the oracle looked like their souls had just left their bodies through their mouths.

  It didn’t look like they had any more questions for me after that, so I was thinking it was just about time for me to hit the road when the oracle suddenly asked me something.

  “Excuse me, but how is Lady Celestine doing?”

  Is she testing me to see if I’m really friends with Celes? Judging by how old she looks, there’s a chance she was an oracle the last time Celes handed down one of her revelations...

  “Like she had her head in the clouds.”

  “Hehe, I see...”

  I wonder if she’s talked with Celes before too? Actually, I wonder if I can just go ahead and leave now... Oh yeah, before that, there’s still one other thing that’s bothering me...

  “Pardon me, Miss Oracle, but can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. Please, ask anything on your mind.”

  “Um...why are Celes’s boobs so big on that statue of her?”

  And so, that was how the last person standing on the stage finally collapsed... Collapsed laughing, that is.

  Kaoru was feeling pretty good about herself. Not only had she managed to figure out a way to keep both the temple and everyone at the castle off her back, she had so much more freedom to do whatever she wanted now. Even if she slipped up a little here and there, no one should be giving her any trouble for it from now on. She would be able to help so many more people now, and, just as importantly, she could get money for doing it. Just thinking about a peaceful life where she didn’t have to worry about money had her grinning ear to ear.

  The news of what happened spread outside of Balmore in almost no time at all, and that was without Kaoru knowing these countries wouldn’t just sit idly by once they found out about her...

  There was the kingdom of Brancott, the country Kaoru had made her escape from. There was also the Holy Land of Rueda, whose influence had weakened in the fifty-three years since the Goddess last descended. Then there was the militaristic Aligot Empire, surrounded by nothing but ocean and mountains, who were ready to take drastic action to revitalize their steadily failing economy.

  The gears of discord were creaking to life throughout this once peaceful world. Even if Kaoru weren’t here, this was an outcome that would have come eventually.

  But there was one thing for certain: Kaoru’s existence here was only hastening the process...

  Bonus Story: Peaceful Days

  ...I think it’s about time I beefed up my cooking skills.

  I’d made all sorts of dishes using the ingredients I’d found here so far, but I was just about reaching my limit. I mean, the people didn’t even use broth or anything like that when cooking, so everything just tasted like a big amalgamation of whatever was used to make it. It wasn’t like it tasted bad or anything though. It was actually pretty good in its own way, and they could even end up with a little broth if they boiled everything just a bit.

  Still, it was nothing compared to the food you could get back in Japan.

  The real nail in the coffin was the lack of seasonings. There weren’t any katsuobushi for flavor, and not a single one o
f those niboshi in sight. No soy sauce, no miso, not even wasabi! That’s not even mentioning that spices were stupidly expensive here.

  True, the home-cooked meals I made back when I was working as a waitress got pretty popular after they were formally added to the menu, but I had to really think outside the box to make it work. I had to make the broth for my faux udon by taking the stock I got from drying and grilling different types of fish, or boiling different types of animal bones. But that alone wasn’t enough. Any true Japanese person always had to be on the hunt for that elusive umami flavor!

  And so, I got right to it. I didn’t have the slightest clue about where to get that fungus you needed to make miso and soy sauce, let alone how to use it, and I had no idea how in the world you would find wasabi here. But that was what I had my potion powers for! It was just like what that one guy said in that video that was popular a while ago:

  It’s not like I’ve been putting this off by saying I was going to do it tomorrow or anything like that, but this is definitely the time for me to just do it!

  “Give me a potion that tastes and smells the same as soy sauce, but make it a little bit healthier, and make it appear in a soy sauce jar!”

  And just like that, I had my jar of soy sauce, made exactly to order. I guess you could say it wasn’t a “jar” cry from what I had back home! Haha...hahhh... Oh my goddess, that was terrible...

  “Give me a small jar full of something that tastes and smells just like miso! And give me something that, oh, you know... Just gimme wasabi!”